Memories
by BubleBubleBuble
Summary: After Speed's death Calleigh has everyone worried. She hasn't been into work for a week and only Eric and Alexx know what's up with her. I don't know if it sucks or not so... CalleighSpeed


Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this story.

It had been a week since Speed's death and everyone was trying to get back to their normal ways of life. H was worried about Calleigh. She hadn't been in work since Speed's funeral.

"Eric, have you talked to Calleigh?" H asked. Eric shook his head.

"I'm worried about her." He said, knowing the reason she wasn't in work. For a year Calleigh and Speed had hid their relationship from everyone at CSI. Eric only knew because he had walked in on them in the locker room. He now had a feeling H knew about the relationship as well.

"So am I. What about Alexx? Yelina? Have any of you been able to contact her?" H asked.

"Not that I know of. Uh... H I think there's something you should know." Eric said quietly. "This past year... Tim and Calleigh had been dating."

H stared up at his CSI in shock.

"Oh God." He muttered.

"Three months ago uh Speed proposed."

"Oh God."

"That's not all."

"I don't want to know." H groaned.

"Well you're going to have to. A month ago Cal found out she was pregnant but..." Eric said.

"But what?"

"She... She lost the baby." Eric finished. "Calleigh doesn't know I know. Speed told me. That was the week she had been out and uh Alexx knows."

"Oh God."

"No one knows except me and I wouldn't even know if I hadn't walked into the locker room a year ago." Eric said.

"Do you know where she is?" H asked.

"Probably at her apartment. Or Speed's. They had just moved in together a few months ago but she kept her apartment so it wouldn't look suspicious." Eric replied.

"Calleigh open the door! Its Horatio!"

H banged on the door one more time and let out a frustrated yell.

"Who are you looking for?"

H swerved around to see an elderly lady standing in her doorway.

"I'm looking for Calleigh Duquesne. Can you tell me where she is?" H replied.

"Calleigh? She hasn't been here for a week." The lady replied.

"Hey this is Tim Speedle. I'm not here right now so leave a message and I'll get back to ya."

If you listen closely enough you could hear a female laugh in the background. H knew that Speed's answering machine didn't go off until you hung up or someone else picked up the phone.

"Calleigh its Horatio. Please pick up the phone!"

H was driving over to Speed's apartment, hoping to God Calleigh was there. Calleigh, who was at Speed's apartment stared at the answering machine, tears in her eyes. How did he know she was here?

"Calleigh we're all really worried about you. Eric told me everything. Please Cal pick up the phone I want to talk to you."

Calleigh glared at the answering machine now and out of nowhere yanked the machine from its plug-in and hurled it across the room making it shattered into pieces. H, still in his car, became very alarmed now. Calleigh laughed lightly, expecting Speed to come out and yell at her for breaking his stuff. But she knew that wasn't going to happen. Not ever again.

Have you ever walked through a cemetery at sundown? It could be pretty scary when no one else is there. Scared, that's how Calleigh felt as she quickly found Speed's grave.

"Tim, oh God why did you have to die?"

"Calleigh!" H yelled, pounding on the door.

"Who are you looking for?"

Again H turned around to see a young woman this time staring at him from her doorway.

"Sir, Tim died a week ago."

"I know that. Tim worked for me. I'm looking for a blonde. Her name's Calleigh." H said.

"Calleigh? Well Calleigh lives here now but I haven't seen her. I think my husband saw her go out to get food but then she went right back in." the woman said.

"Has she left at all before I got here?" H asked. The woman shook her head.

"Yes she did! I saw her run out of here." A little boy exclaimed. H thanked them and went back down to his SUV.

Calleigh sat Indian-style on the soft grass, running her hand over the head stone.

Timothy David Speedle 

_June 24, 1973_

September 20, 2004 

"God Tim I miss you." She murmured. "H just tried calling me. I threw the answering machine at the wall. What would you have said to me? I laughed at all the things I could've thought of you saying. I can't believe this. I'm talking to a slab of rock."

Calleigh chuckled a little then tears overcame her.

"Everything's gone downhill since we lost the baby." She said. "We weren't the same and now you're gone. I keep thinking that you're going to come out of our bedroom, ready to get on your bike and ride over to the lab."

Hearing footsteps behind her Calleigh glanced over her shoulder.

"Calleigh you scared me."

"H I want to be alone." She said, wiping her tears.

"Cal I'm here for you. So are Eric, Yelina, and Alexx."

"Horatio when are you gonna get it? I want to be alone!" she exclaimed. "I mean I hid at Tim's apartment, then you still find me and you call me a million times and I broke my answering machine and now here I am sitting in a graveyard talking to a grave!"

"Calleigh, we're trying to help you." H said, sitting down next to her.

"No. No you're not. All you're doing is getting in the way. I just need to be alone right now." She said.

"Eric told me everything."

"What that me and Tim were engaged?"

"And the baby."

"How did he know!"

"Speed told him when you didn't come into work for that week. Cal you can't hide away from everyone when something goes wrong."

"Yeah well last time was different. I had Tim but now... I'm alone." She muttered.

"Calleigh no you're not."

"Yes I am. I love you H. I do but as an older brother. Eric is my little brother and Alexx and Yelina are my sisters. The only one that ever truly understood me was Tim and now he's gone." She said. "Please H just leave me alone for now."

"Why don't you try doing something to get your mind off Speed? We've all gone back to our normal lives." H said quietly. "Sitting at or actually on his grave is not going to help take away the pain."

Calleigh stood up and wiped off the back of her jeans.

"H, please just go. I'll call everyone later and tell them I'm peachy. I don't need you or anyone else telling me how to deal with my grief." She said. H stood up and stared at her.

"Come back to work at least." He said.

"I can't! At least not right now." Calleigh exclaimed. "I'll talk to you later."

And with that she ran off. H sighed and turned to Speed's headstone.

"I wish I knew what to do Speed. I really do. I'm trying real hard to take care of her for you Tim." He said.

Calleigh decided to go to her own apartment instead of Speed's. If she went there again she'd just cry and she had cried too much.

"Calleigh a man was here before." Her neighbor said.

"I know. I talked to him." She said, not really paying attention.

"Where've you been?"

"Away." Calleigh snapped and walked into her apartment. Glancing around the apartment Calleigh kicked her shoes off and walked into her bedroom and turned the light on before closing the door. She just layed on her side, thinking about all the times she and Speed spent together.

"_Has anyone ever told you that you're beautiful?" Speed asked. _

"_My parents. Do they count?" Calleigh replied, sipping her soda. They had decided to go to the movies and they were sitting through those cheesy ads they have up before the coming attractions. _

"_I mean a guy." _

"_No." _

"_Well, you're beautiful." Speed said, smiling. _

"_Are you just saying that because I told you no guy ever told me I was beautiful?" Calleigh asked. _

"_No. I really think you are beautiful." Speed replied. _

"_Well thank you." Calleigh smiled. "Speed, I'm having a really good time and we're just in the coming attractions!" _

"_Yeah I can do that to a girl." He said smugly. "Cal... I'm glad you decided to come tonight." _

"_I wanted to come." She said. _

"_So uh... this is just a friend's night out right?" Speed asked. _

"_Yeah that's what we came as." _

"_How about we leave with you as my girlfriend?" _

"_Are you asking me to go out with you?" Calleigh asked. Speed nodded. _

"_Will you?" _

"_Oh gosh. Yeah!" Calleigh exclaimed. _

__

Calleigh smiled through her tears and remembered the first time Speed had kissed her. They had given each other quick pecks on the cheeks and lips but never a kiss that actually meant something to both of them.

__

"_Calleigh..." _

"_Hmm?" she asked, turning her attention away from the fireworks and towards Speed. From the look in his eyes, Calleigh knew what he was about to do and she smiled to herself as Speed leaned down towards her and they finally kissed. _

That night, right after their kiss...

As they pulled apart Calleigh saw something in Speed's eyes that she'd never seen before in the whole time they had gone out.

"Calleigh, I love you." Speed said quietly.

"I love you too." She smiled and they kissed again.

Calleigh was jerked out of her thoughts by the phone ringing. Reluctantly, she hit the 'talk' button on her cordless.

"Hello?"

"Cal it's me, Eric."

"Hey."

"How are you?"

"I'm doing good. Thanks for telling H."

"Calleigh I had to. I was worried about you. You're my best friend."

"Eric I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Cal we're all here for you."

"Oh man, don't give me that 'we're here for you' speech. Horatio already tried to give it to me but Eric... I want to be alone. But then when I get off the phone with you I know I'll want someone here, comforting me."

"Do you want me to come over?"

"No. I'll be fine. I'm going to try and get some sleep. I haven't slept properly in a few days."

"Calleigh I know you miss him. We all do."

"I know. I'll call you tomorrow. Okay?"

"Yeah. Be good."

"I will. Thanks Eric and bye."

"Bye."

Calleigh put the cordless phone down and layed back down and went back to her thoughts, back to the day Speed proposed.

"Calleigh we need to talk." Speed said. She began to get nervous. Here they were in the middle of a fancy restaurant and he was going to break up with her. "We've been together a long time and you know I love you but..."

"Oh God Tim please don't..." she muttered, closing her eyes. While her eyes were closed Speed slipped out of his seat and kneeled down in front of her, an engagement ring in his hand.

"Cal, look at me honey." Speed said. She shook her head.

"Just get over with it and don't humiliate me!" she said. Speed laughed gently and took Calleigh's hand in his.

"Calleigh I need you to look at me." He said. She slowly opened one eye and gasped when she saw the ring in his hand. "Calleigh I love you and don't know what you're thinking right now but I know we're going out and we see each other a lot but... I want more. I want you to be my wife. Will you marry me?"

Calleigh's other eye popped open and she nodded, not trusting her voice.

"Really?" Speed asked. Again she nodded and he slipped the ring onto her finger. Looking up at her, Speed smiled. "Are you gonna say something?"

Calleigh nodded and leaned down, kissing him. She blushed when she heard the people around them clapping. Speed grinned.

"I love you." Calleigh said. "There. I said something."

Speed laughed.

Calleigh looked down at her hand that had her engagement ring on. She would never take it off.

"What's the matter with you?" Speed asked. "You're always so tired."

"So? I'm tired! What's the big deal?" Calleigh snapped.

"And nasty."

"Tim, please stop."

"No. What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing's wrong!"

"Well why are you so odd lately?" Speed asked. Calleigh glared at him over her magazine.

"Nothing is wrong. Do I need to spell it out? And I know you used my Crime Light again!" she said.

"That was like a month ago!" Speed exclaimed.

"Aha so you admit it." Calleigh grinned. "Nothing is wrong."

"Calleigh something is wrong."

"If you call being pregnant something wrong then I guess something is wrong." She said, acting as if it was no big deal. Speed nodded then let out something between a yelp and a gasp.

"What?"

"Pregnant... you know it happens to women... nine months later there's a baby. Come on Speed. You're a scientist!" Calleigh said.

"You're pregnant?" he asked.

"Did I stutter?" she asked.

"You're pregnant?"

"Yes I am."

"And uh... I'm the father?"

"No. Horatio is." Calleigh replied, keeping a straight face.

"What!"

"I'm kidding." She laughed. "God take a joke. Because I'm pregnant I'm tired a lot and while I'm pregnant I'll be going through mood swings so get used to the nastiness."

"So you're pregnant." Speed asked.

"Yes for the hundred millionth time!" Calleigh exclaimed and Speed nearly jumped on her, kissing her on the lips. When they pulled away and Calleigh let out a whistle. "I should get pregnant more often."

Calleigh smiled sadly, remembering the day she had found out she had been pregnant. Speed was so happy. They both were. The day they lost the baby had been the toughest they had ever faced together.

"Ms. Duquesne?"

Calleigh looked up at the female doctor standing above her. Alexx had taken her to the hospital when she had passed out at the lab.

"That's me." She said.

"I'm Dr. Freedman. I'm filling in for Dr. Conway today. Um... did you know that you were pregnant?"

Calleigh's heart dropped when she heard Dr. Freedman use the word, 'were'.

"Were?" she asked weakly.

"You didn't know?"

"No I knew."

"Oh. Well Ms. Duquesne I'm sorry but the reason you passed out at your work was... well you had a miscarriage." Dr. Freedman said.

''**You had a miscarriage.' **

Those words hit hard for Calleigh.

"Alexx..."

"Yeah?" she asked, wiping away her tears.

"Can you call Tim?" Calleigh asked. Alexx nodded and she and Dr. Freedman left the room. For about fifteen minutes Calleigh sat in the hospital room by herself and again she got upset, hearing Speed's loud voice out in the hallway.

"What happen?" he asked.

"Speed, Calleigh's in there." Alexx replied. Calleigh took a deep breath and wiped away her tears as Speed burst into the room.

"Calleigh are you okay?" he asked, rushing over to her. Behind him Calleigh could see Alexx and Eric standing in the doorway. Eric quietly closed the door and Calleigh broke down into tears.

"Calleigh what happened?" Speed asked, getting alarmed. He held her close and finally she managed to speak.

"Tim..."

"What?"

"I... I..."

"You what?"

"I lost the baby." Calleigh said, her tears soaking Speed's shirt.

"How?"

"I don't know. I was with Alexx in the morgue and we were going over my victim. You were out with H and Eric and I just passed out and she took me here. The doctor just left about fifteen-twenty minutes ago and she told me." Calleigh replied. "Oh Tim."

"Hey, it'll be alright." He said soothingly, tears streaking his cheeks.

"No it won't." Calleigh cried, holding onto Speed tightly.

Calleigh started crying again. She had lost both of them. She lost their baby and now she had lost the only man she ever loved. A few blocks away Eric sat on his computer, talking to Alexx.

Diverguy: Alexx I'm worried about her.

Dolphinsgrl24: So am I Eric but she won't listen to us.

Diverguy: Losing the baby was bad enough and that was just a month ago. She's not even over it but now that Speed's gone. What if she does something crazy?

Dolphinsgrl24: I don't know. I doubt she will.

Diverguy: I called her before and she sounded like she had been crying.

Dolphinsgrl24: I tried calling her before but she wouldn't answer. I tried Speed's number too but... no one picked up and the answering machine wouldn't work.

Diverguy: Yeah H told me Cal told him she threw it at the wall when he called.

Dolphinsgrl24: I guess she really doesn't want to talk to us. I have to go in for nightshift tonight so... I'll talk to you later. See if you can talk to her and if you do call me.

Diverguy: All right. Bye Alexx.

Dolphinsgrl24: Bye.

'Dolphinsgrl24 has signed off.'

Eric sighed and signed off himself, thinking about Calleigh and Speed. He remembered the day Speed told him about the baby.

Eric glanced over at Speed, who was staring into his locker, an upset look on his face.

"Hey Tim you alright?"

"No. Hey swear not tell anyone?" Speed replied. Eric nodded.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Alright... about a month ago Calleigh found out she was pregnant. Yesterday she lost the baby." Speed said.

"Are you serious?" Eric asked, a sympathetic look on his face. Speed nodded.

"Man... she's torn apart. She's not coming into work for a while. I told H but... I don't think he was listening." He said.

"Well... I'm sorry Speed."

Speed nodded.

"I'm gonna head home. See how she's doing."

Calleigh let out a sigh and walked out into her kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge. She closed the refrigerator and stared at the door. Pictures of her and Speed littered the door. Seeing she was going to cry again she went back into her bedroom, the water still in her hand. Calleigh went over to the window and stared down at Miami. Her cell phone was ringing and she knew it was probably H trying to get her to come to a crime scene but... she wouldn't answer it. She didn't want to go to any crime scene. Right now all she wanted was Speed's arms around her, telling her everything would be all right.

"I've got an officer down!"

Calleigh looked over at her walkie-talkie. That was H. Speed was with him. Grabbing her keys she ran out into the parking lot and jumped into her car.

"H!"

He looked up and Calleigh let out a strangled cry seeing Speed lying on the floor of the jewelry store, not moving. H stood up and walked over to her.

"What happened to Speed?"

"He was shot. Calleigh I need you to run the ballistics report." H replied, handing her two guns. "Here's my gun and this one's Speed's."

Calleigh nodded.

"Anything I should need to know."

H shook his head.

"Speed might've looked down at his gun."

Calleigh nodded again and walked over with H to Speed. Alexx walked over, giving Calleigh a sympathetic look. 'I'm sorry.' She mouthed.

"Horatio give him to me. He needs to come with me." She said. H nodded and let Alexx get to work. Calleigh blinked away her tears and walked out of the jewelry store.

Calleigh stared straight ahead, not daring to look at Speed's casket. They were supposed to get married. They were supposed to get a nice house to raise their kids in. Next to her on the right was H, who held her hand reassuringly. Eric was on her left, his arm wrapped around her. Alexx stood next to Eric, tears flowing softly and then Yelina. In front of Calleigh were Mr. and Mrs. Speedle. The shots were going off now. Soon it was all over and everyone was leaving. H left first with Yelina, then Alexx, and Eric left last. Calleigh didn't want to leave. Then it would mean saying goodbye. Speed swore to her that they'd never have to say goodbye. Mrs. Speedle turned around and smiled softly at Calleigh.

"Calleigh he loved you a lot. He called whenever he got the chance and all he talked about was you." She said. Calleigh smiled back and then Mr. and Mrs. Speedle left. The caretaker was putting the dirt over Speed's casket and Calleigh let out a soft cry. The caretaker didn't hear her. Once he was done he left and Calleigh knelt down in front of the headstone.

Timothy David Speedle

June 24, 1973

September 20, 2004

"Baby I'm sorry." She cried. "I love you so much. God I don't know how I'm going to live without you."

THE NEXT DAY

Calleigh had finally, after two hours of deciding, decided to go into work.

"How are you?" Eric asked, hugging her.

"I'm doing better." Calleigh replied. "I need to talk to H."

Eric nodded and let her walk herself to the office. She knocked gently on the doorframe.

"Calleigh. Come on in." H said. She did and sat down.

"H you were right. I do need something to get my mind of Tim. I'm gonna come back to work." She said. "But um... there's something you should know first."

"Go ahead."

"A few days ago... right after Speed's funeral I uh... I found out I was pregnant again." Calleigh said.

"Wow. Congratulations." H smiled. Calleigh nodded through her tears.

"I don't know how I'm gonna do this alone." She said.

"We're all here for you Cal." H said. She nodded.

"I know. I realized that last night after I cried for a few hours. With what you said to me and then Eric called and told me that y'all are here for me." She said. "I really want to get passed this horrible week."

"You will. You'll never fully get over it because you love him so much. We all do but soon we're going to learn to get on with our lives. Get on with our lives the way Speed wanted us to." H said. Calleigh smiled and hugged him before going to her locker.

A/N: It's not over! Next chapter will be the epilogue... not so sad and not so long! 16 pages!!!! My longest chapter ever.


End file.
